Letters

A new poem and one of my better ones. I hope you find its beauty both despite and because of its sadness. Sometimes the most beautiful writing comes from hurt.

*****

Letters

I wake from you haunting my sleep,
telling me you love me but that it can’t be.
You don’t though;
———–that’s a fallacy;
———————_fallacy my mind concocts
—-only to hurt me.
The whole dream, you never speak,
—-only write to me,
——in letters.

So, ripped prematurely
—-from sound,
———–_unconscious
————-relief,
I write you back what you’ll never see:
Of pain, proclamation, apology.
Mark my defeat in this elegy
And I tell it all,
———with letters.

Here’s a man I liked before
but he strikes no feeling from my core.
Not anymore; could he evermore? He’d let me
——————————————————down
———————————————————-again,
————————————————-I’m sure.
Greater awareness of what to search for,
he can’t compare to what I came to adore
But he’s good at speaking
——his letters.

He asks again, am I sure?
from my body, away my
————————-…soul tore
—-My heart is numb
—-so it’s no longer raw.
I let him on me but could never think before
how sex could seem a corporeal chore
And my mind is blank ;
——-no letters.

In hours followed,
questioning:
was there reality in that liaising?
Thoughts waft above me,
———————–swimming.
Words turned  a l p h a b e t  s o u p,
———————–jumbling.
Visual_-_focus_-_fumbling.
I can’t see the thoughts
—–for the letters.

I’d hoped it’d help speed the healing
but that only works with lesser feelings
—-too rash was I in dealing
——with this listless quaking keeling
——–of my hopes with
————————you –Fuck!
I was so sure, no more, be gone these letters!

Letters
spelling words
—-filling sentences of thought
When will my brain free my heart
—-from such excess distraught?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s